Thursday, March 5, 2009

I love the feeling of being in balance. When I know I've spent quality time with my kids, had some time to myself, put in some good effort at work and feel connected to my husband, I feel great. Conversely, I feel cranky and unsettled when I am neglecting something important and spending too much time on something else. I am often slow to recognize that it's an issue of balance, but it's there.

Too much time watching American Idol and not enough time helping my son with his homework. Too much time on Facebook and not enough time on a critical work project. I allow this unbalancing to occur because I am scared that if I start doing the things that I'm neglecting, that the balance will then shift too far in the other direction. I think that if I start working on my nagging work project, I'll get sucked into it and not have any time at all to catch up with friends on Facebook. Or that paying bills in the evening will turn in to a two-hour project and leave me with no time to knit or read before I need to go to bed. In other words, I don't try to re-balance because I'm afraid I'll end up doing only the things that aren't fun, relaxing or instantly gratifying.

I used to think the answer was to place limits on the fun stuff. I was wrong. Placing limits on the shitty stuff so that I know that I can stop at a certain point and do something more fun, but without guilt, is the answer. Fun is so much more fun without guilt.

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